I think it’s very valuable to talk about who we are as individuals as we live a life with willingness to grow and mature. Life is always coming at us from different angles and if we handle it properly, growth is bound to happen. I like to use my life as a tool to be useful to others. My happiness and my peace is and will always be gifted to me by the God I trust with it, but I understand many people may not have that level of faith or any faith at all.
You do not have to be a Christian to relate to these things. I always tell atheists that regardless of what you believe, the bible can help you no matter what given it’s great amount of wisdom. I know this to be the word of God, but you can believe otherwise. No matter what, it can change your life.
HOW AM I OKAY?
Many of you that know me know that I went through a very difficult and life-changing event in March. Many of you that really know the situation know the finer details and probably question how I handled it with grace. Sometimes I wonder the same, because it was not easy.
When a true man loves a woman, he loves her as Jesus loves the church. This means that no matter what happens, what she does, what he does, he will choose to love her as the lord loves her. She could stab him 27 times and he can look at her and say “I forgive you and I love you.” Does this mean he does not recognize the issues at hand? Absolutely not. This means that a man understands that the woman God created lies underneath all the trauma, pain and insecurity the world brought upon her. If no one on this earth will see who God created her to be, then who will lead her to Him if she lacks faith?
It was never about me. I never felt sorry for myself. I never sought after pity from anyone, nor did I express my brokenness. The reality is I made the choice to completely die to myself and be reborn as a man of faith that would always pray for those that persecute me.
My dream is to witness all those that have condemned me, traumatized me, ridiculed me, persecuted me be saved and find peace in their lives. I do not want to watch anyone suffer no matter the crimes against me. I do not seek revenge against any human being for I have stories of my life that I am ashamed of. I have hurt others along the way as well.
Many may think that this is all weakness, but I tell you that forgiving and loving in times when most would seek revenge is by far the most difficult thing I have ever done. I am human and I feel anger. I am intelligent and I have the ability to execute proper revenge. But, I am a man of the lord and I have zero desire to feel or act on either of these things. As I am today, I could not fathom hurting another human being as I have been hurt. I could not bear to see anyone, even my greatest enemies, feel pain.
HOW I VIEW THE WORLD NOW
This stems from the topic of anger. I see so many articles and videos from psychologists, Christians and amazing influencers that teach of great things. But sometimes, I see them fall away from the truth and teach things that are not true. I will not get into the details of things, but I want you to understand that they are human too. Be careful who you pay attention to.
I do not see the world from a common viewpoint anymore. I’ve allowed my pain draw me closer to truth; sometimes truth that I absolutely hate but cannot deny. If I do not do this, my life will crumble and I will not be of use to those that read these articles or those that I encounter.
Every day, I try my very best to see everything how Jesus sees it. It is a daily challenge because I will never amount to who He is, but I know that if I at least try, others and myself will benefit from it. I look at everything for how it truly is. I look at how people act, think and respond to identify what happened to them. I do not assume, but I learn from it and pray for them. If they are open to it, I will speak with them and try my best to utilize the word of God to guide them. I see that most people are in pain and I know from experience that we as humans are to blame for our own suffering. This does not mean that your past is your fault, but how you choose to respond is.
During these times, the majority of the human population is suffering. They are suffering because they depend on themselves for all the answers. They depend on themselves to move towards a better future. They allow their past to dictate their every move. They allow the world around them to determine how they feel, what’s right and what’s wrong and allow them to excuse themselves for poor behavior that causes nothing but pain in the long run.
A life without God is a life with the devil. The enemy is desperate to feed at your soul with any chance he gets. Even if you are a good person, without faith, you will be misled. You will have a difficult time finding peace. Reliance on self is what the enemy wants because it is not reliance on God. That is his goal.
MY FUTURE
I know that my life will never be perfect. I know that I will face hard times again and again, but with my faith, I know that they will be much easier to handle as they have been recently. I write this today with complete peace after getting very bad news yesterday that would typically make people spiral. But, as God has blessed me time and time in my worst moments, I know He will now too. He does not fail. I know that the result will be great in the end.
My greatest dream is to be a husband and father that leads his family closer to God. At this rate, I am heading in the right direction. I am confident that I can lead my wife and our children in a predominately peaceful life. I know that I can love them as Christ loves the church. I know that I am strong enough, becoming successful enough and I put God first so that I can continue to improve for the rest of my life for them.
I am certain that my future wife will feel safe, comfortable and at peace in our marriage, even when conflict arises. I will not ever be against her even in the hard times that will come. A wife and husband are a team but at the same time they are two different people. Challenges will come but they should never let those challenges turn one against another.
I know that love is not just a feeling, but a choice. There will be times when one of us doesn’t “feel” in love, but that is simply not the case. Being in love is not about being crazy about each other all the time. Sometimes you won’t like each other and that’s okay. That’s going to happen. But that does NOT mean that you are not in love.
I know that taking care of a marriage is vital. A man should always be pursuing his wife even when things may be tough. Giving your partner undivided attention is crucial. There should always be time for this, at least once a week. I think this is where people really fall apart. They get too caught up in life’s patterns, grow comfortable and forget why they’re in love with their person. This can certainly be prevented with very little effort.
As for my future children, they will always have a loving father. I will always be sure to allow them enough freedom to become who God intends them to be but be sure to guide them properly to be secure and uplifting individuals for themselves and those around them. I will always do my best to lead them to Christ, but never be forceful for being saved by Him is always a personal path that cannot be forced. I will simply aim to be a great role model and mentor for my children with every opportunity presented to do so.
My overall goal will always be to inspire others to move towards their own versions of peace. I will always be sure that life is full of fun, excitement and the most happiness possible. I will never turn my back on Jesus as I have in the past. My consistent faith has turned me into someone I feel God is proud of. I have found my hidden soul and I intend to never let it be hidden anymore. Everyone can do this if they truly step into their truth.
Please, at all costs, become who you truly are and let nothing stand in your way. Be sure that your path does not hurt you nor the others around you. Be sure to pursue what He puts on your heart and nothing else. Face the hell that you must in order to get there. It is difficult, but I promise you it is well worth it.
All glory to God. I love you. Jesus loves you. No matter what you have done, He always loves you and He wants you to turn to Him. I mean it when I say no matter what you’ve done.
Luke 15:7 - I say unto you that likewise more joy shall be in Heaven over one sinner that repenteth, than over ninety and nine just persons who need no repentance.